"Easy Access"

*TRIGGER WARNING: Gang Rape* 

My assault took place my Sophomore year at Pepperdine. In short, my best friend and roommate Stephanie was literally the only Jew enrollee at a Christian affiliated, private university. This meant, by default, that we frequented the Jewish frat houses at both USC and UCLA on the weekends.

One weekend we attended an annual AEPI party at USC where Stephanie’s childhood friend Jonathan was a member and resident of the frat house near campus. Halfway through the evening I somehow got separated from her and the rest of our friends. The next thing I knew it was the following morning and I was in someone’s bunk bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boy’s boxer briefs. My phone was dead, but after a few hours of falling asleep and waking up repeatedly, my friends found me, gathered my clothes from different rooms and shoved me into the car so we could head back to Malibu.

I figured I blacked out and hooked up with the guy I woke up with, not a huge deal as I was a sophomore in college and definitely amidst the party phase of my life. However, I didn’t drink nearly enough to black out and definitely not enough to be as sick as I was that following morning. Later that afternoon, Jonathan called Stephanie and was laughing because I apparently had hooked up with not one, but four of his frat brothers.

They basically passed me around, and all “wanted me to come back next weekend.” This, combined with the fact that I was beyond hungover and actually extremely sick, set off a red flag. She was livid with him and I was extremely embarrassed. Stephanie and I went to a clinic that Monday and were told there was nothing I could do considering it had been over 48 hours and I wasn’t physically hurt. They couldn’t test my vagina for sperm or urine/blood for possible drugs because it would no longer be in my system. However, they did confirm that my symptoms were definitely aligned with those of a person who had been slipped something more than a Smirnoff Ice.

The clinic staff was great and offered to call the police and file a report for me. I began the process, but when it came to naming specific people I took the high road and opted not to submit the report.

Being a white girl, from an upper middle class Christian family who attended a notable Christian university, a police report calling these boys out would literally ruin their lives. Not only would they have suffered personally, but so would their families and possibly even USC as an institution considering the case could have been extremely newsworthy.

I suffered from immense shame and guilt, not to mention resent after deciding to not follow through with the accusations.  To this day it definitely bothers me and makes me irate to even think about. I was wearing a skirt, and was told by my roommates friend that they had “easy access.”  The party we went to was Western themed, I wore a black skirt and borrowed my friend’s black cowboy boots. How does something this innocent turn into being raped by not just ONE, but FOUR men?!

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